You may have seen/heard the news that London just got hit with a snowstorm that shut the city down as tidily as the one that visited Portland before Christmas.
Londoners do not routinely see much winter snow and the city rarely seems prepared for unusual precipitations. “You get half an inch of snow in this place and everything falls apart,” said a stranded north London commuter.Sound familiar? From Stonch, our London publican/correspondant, comes this lush description of the challenges of coping with snow in a city ill-prepared for such rarities:
Our kitchen porter and cleaner have both called to say they can't make it, so chef's going to be chopping his own spuds and I'll have to acquaint myself with a mop and bucket. A character-building day lies ahead, then....Hang in there, our weather-kindred. With the right balance of coffee and stout, you'll pull through just fine. We did.
I'll have to cope without a barmaid, too, it would seem. It's just me and the chef. The fishmonger and the greengrocer have both delivered but the all-important draymen are nowhere to be seen. I expect them to turn up in the late afternoon with faces like slapped arses and tales of woe to relate. To be fair, I wouldn't want to be skidding around central London in a lorry full of beer barrels. Thankfully, I've got plenty of ale ready to go in the cellar: Landlord, XXXB, Thwaites Nutty Black, York Nordic Fury and Adnams East Green. I might run out of Carlsberg, though. What a shame.